It’s game time. And, this is a fun one. I’ll provide a description of a Democrat, and you guess who it is. At the end of the description, I’ll provide a few clues to help you. Let’s get started.
Democrat 1
I drink too much and I slur my words. They lifted my face too much and my eyebrows are part of my hair now. I’m unable to chew gum because my wooden teeth would fall out. But, I made millions on the stock market because I knew when to buy and sell based on secret government information. Maybe I’m old, but I pull off a pantsuit like nobody else. If you haven’t seen the video of me getting my hair done during the covid pandemic, you can see it here.
Clues: speaker, can’t speak, crook, rich, California
Democrat 2
I am a woman. Hear me roar. But, I don’t know how to spell “roar.” In fact, I don’t know how to say it either. Stop looking at me baby girl. Just watch me. One day, I’ll actually do something as a representative. In fact, I made a video showing illegal aliens how to evade deportation. And, I even put it on my website. Tom Homan says he is going to refer me to the Department of Justice. Go ahead. I double dog dare you Homan. I’m a fighter. Just watch my video.
Clues: air head, bartender, useless, New York
Democrat 3
Please don’t touch my hair. I just put grease in to slick it back like it is. Yesterday, I decided that men should play in women’s sports. But, today I think men should not play in women’s sports. Did that make my presidential polling numbers go up? It didn’t? Then men should definitely play in women’s sports. Did all of this transsexual talk get people off my back about the stupid wildfires? We just want to build back better and create a smart city. It was the easiest way to buy the properties cheap. Don’t listen to Trump. We have plenty of water.
Clues: fake, hair, California, governor
Democrat 4
I think the Trump administration is going to implode in the next thirty days. Although I am extremely irrelevant and passe, I feel the need to be the voice of the progressive left. Some people call me the “ragin cajun”. But, my rage is all over the place. One day, I’m mad at Trump. And the next day, I’m mad at Biden. I helped Bill Clinton. And, by God, I’ll help these floundering Democrats. If someone will just listen to me.
Clues: ancient, nonsense, out of touch, Louisiana
Democrat 5
Literally no one likes me. My dad shot his hunting partner in the face and killed him. I was chosen by then Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi to be a chairperson on the January 6th Committee. A lot of people tell me I look like a liberal. And, I agree with them. Kamala Harris had no idea how many people hated me when she asked me to appear with her while campaigning. I lost a lot of votes for her. And, I probably didn’t gain a vote for her. I’m the “Charlie Brown” of politics.
Clues: Not Democrat, Not Republican, Not anything, Biggest Loser